Manic Monday

I hate the fact that my laptop screen has little dirt marks on it, and those marks, if in just the right spot, make periods look like commas, which really tickles my fancy. In a bad way. And I can't just wash off my laptop in the bathtub. That wouldn't be no good for nobody.

Tomorrow morning I have to get all ready for an interview at Starbucks. You could say a lot is riding on this. And I hear, if hired, I recieve a pound of free coffee per week. Huzzah! Fortunately, my charisma is the one thing I can rely on. And my hipness quotient will be increased exponentially if I get the job, I reckon.

This weekend was an alright time. In gearing up for 28 Weeks Later, I came up with an idea of prequel catch-up night funtime!!! where we viewed 28 Days Later on a friend's huge screen (I said I would find a copy of the movie, not actually allow people into my house). We basked in 28 Days' freaky zombies-on-cocaine glory. I do like that movie. The zombies are all fast and spastic-moving, so everyone has to run really, really fast. And then people re-animate in like 10 seconds, which means you have to bash your best bud in the face right away, before s/he can say, "Wait, he bit my cricket bat, not me."

Friday we chilled, played a game of Kings with retarded rules that I have never played with before. Not gonna lie, back in Chicago we played a game with a bunch of goofy rules, and then the guy with the last king was totally screwed. Here we played some pussy version where the loser just had to finish one can of beer, as opposed to chugging a large glass where the amount of beer was decided by the other guys who got the three previous kings (and occasionally someone would pour in a sick peach energy drink to really screw with your head). Not gonna lie, I was getting pretty pissed at everyone for not following the true rules. That night wasn't as fun as I thought it was gonna be, not gonna lie. People were getting kinda hostile, and that was making me all hostile, and that's bad for my chi. C'mon.

Saturday we ended up seeing a matinee of 28 Weeks Later, and I actually kinda liked the sequel. It had the crazy dude from Trainspotting, and still had plenty of schizo-zombies that made weird hand gestures as they chased down their prey. It also featured a helicopter piloted by the black dude from Lost chopping apart zombies (which, actually, I had already seen in Grindhouse. C'mon guys). It actually had some of the creepiest scenes I have ever seen. Picture navigating a pitch dark subway station using only the nightvision scope on a rifle. Whoa, dude.

Today went pretty well, lunch at this Chowder place in Waterville, which was filled with conversation regarding penis peircing (always classy). They had these sweet potato chip things that were covered with, get this, cinnamon. New addition to Barry's Stuff to Do Before Barry Dies: Figure out how to make these. We then walked all the food off at Sidecut Metro, and made multiple jokes about tufted titmice (hahahaha, dirty bird).

And then tomorrow I want to sell some old sport crap I found in my closet and get that Bucks job (see! I already know the lingo!). Good times.







New segment of this blog: SONG OF THE WEEK!!!!!
Week of May 20 [Drumroll]:
"ALFIE" by Lily Allen
British chick, upbeat song about slacker lil bro.
Video features puppet birds smoking joints.
Includes funny British words: Twat, computer pronounced "compewer", fi-id cap
Look it UP!!!!

Don't despair,
-Barry