Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Some Official Late Fall/Winter Movie Reviews

So, I've been seeing a lot of movies lately, and since I'm home and have nothing to do at all, I figured I'd kill some time by sharing with you my thoughts on certain recent cinematic events. I think I just might be all caught up on what I want to see, so I figured this was a good time....

I saw this the first week it was out. Not gonna lie, probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. And most people would agree with me, besides perhaps our friends the Jews, the Christian right, blacks, Alabamans, homosexuals, frat boys, Kid Rock, and pretty much anyone else who isn't young and white and sheltered. Either way, I thought it provided some of the best satire of the American view of the outside world through the mouths of Americans. What is even funnier, I think, is that someone was telling me how she was telling all her friends that Kazakhstan (sp?) was a real country, and her friends were like, "What an idiot, she doesn't get the joke. It's made up." Not so, douchebags. Not so. Better brush up on your former Soviet Eastern European nations.
My Rating: Wary Nice!

Casino Royale
I went into this movie thinking, meh, James Bond. He gets a lot more action (in all sorts of ways) than I do, so naturally, I can't say I love the guy. This movie could be my favorite Bond movie, and I've seen quite a bunch. Peirce (sp?) Brosden can suck it. I like it cause he straight up kills people, he's so, as the late Rick James would say, Cold...Blooded. Note how the Ugandans are the bad guys, after all the "Invisible Children" publicity. I also wonder why the Bond franchise have never resorted to using the sterotypical crazed A-rab terrorist. Maybe they think they'll be killed. Those crazy Islamists (jk jk. Don't kidnap me).
My Rating: Good one!

Deju Vu
No connection with the gentlemans club (calm down, fellows). I saw this most recent Denzel movie after leveling a stop sign with my car. The excitement of the movie didn't match the trip. It's like an hour and a half CSI. Plus, the crazy time bending concept wasn't really explained too well. The chick was pretty hot, I will give them that.
My Rating: See it on DVD when you and your buddies are wasted. That 's more advice than a rating, but it's my house, my rules. Jerk.

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
At first I thought this was going to be some sort of Andrew Lloyd Webber metal musical, so I was pleased when someone had some dialogue. Although a lot of the humor appeals to seven year olds (and some 18 year olds), I still found myself having a laugh and a half. It also requires a bit of an interest in classic rock/metal, so be forewarned if that is not your cup of tea. Either way, see Borat first.
My Rating: Pretty righteous.

Despite Mel Gibson being a bit of an anti-Semitic Austrailian douchebag (though I can't say I'm a whole lot better, and he is richer than I am), he's still a decent director, and I was pretty pumped to see his newest Maya epic. I loved it, even though it was in subtitles. It's pretty violent, so be forewarned, you ladies (and girly men). Actually there's a lot of "Oh snap" moments, such as "Oh snap, dude just got his heart pulled out" or "Oh snap, dude just jumped off a waterfall and hit a rock." BTW, definitely buying this when it appears on DVD.
My Rating: Oh snap, dude just got his face eaten by a panther.

Hope this blog has helped you in your filmatic decisions. I think I'm going to go make some cookies. Feeling a little domestic today.

That is all

1 comment:

Mr. E said...

Those were horrible reveiws. Not a rating anywhere. And your summaries were crappy too!

Maybe you should focus on closing the store correctly. Then I can hire you when I open a Taco Bell in Lambertville.

Slave to Minimum wage, but closers get a $.30 premium.