An Eitel Family Christmas Pt. I

So this Christmas, like most recent Christmases, I've been trying to find the "true spirit of Christmas," much like that Charlie Brown fellow.

I have discovered that it is not in the song "The Christmas Shoes," which is perhaps the worst Christmas-related tune written in 2000 years. Not only is it depressing and puts a damper on the whole day, it is incredibly stupid. What kinda person would want shoes to put on before they die? I would much rather want anti-biotics, or at least morphine. However, now that I have realized how awful a song "Christmas Shoes" is, I can't wait to hear it whenever I listen to 101.5 The River's Continous Christmas Music Insanity. If I ever go to a Christmas party and there is karoki, I mos def am doing "Christmas Shoes."

Anyway, back to real life. I finished all my shopping for people on Thursday after a quick trip to Kohl's and the mall (which I hate going to if I'm not getting paid to be there, BTW). I got some pretty sweet stuff, like a robo-dinosaur, and a pirate book, and a chocolate fondue thing that I say is for Mom but is pretty much for me, and a hat...pretty exciting. Wrapping is another story. I suck. I'll have to post up pics soon if I can get a working camera, because it's pretty sad. Alas.

We bought a real tree this year after I dropped a random hint I wanted one over Thanksgiving, which kinda blew my mind. However, we didn't really have a true topper for it. So Friday I got the idea to go up to Frankenmuth (Michigan's little Bavaria) and buy a tree topper at the largest Christmas store in the world (go big or go somewhere else, that's my motto). Unfortunately, none of my friends wanted to make the 1.5+ hour trip up there. Somehow I convinced my dad, and so me, my father, my insane little sister, and my cute little sister (we sorta kidnapped her) went on a noble quest to get the tree topper, although I seemed to be the only one really loyal to the cause. We did a little site-seeing; it's very pretty there. They have lots of kandy (German for candy), and the people who serve it look like they belong in the "It's A Small World" ride.

Finally we got to Bronner's, and I got lost among the Magi, dancing snowmen, and novelty chili-pepper lights. I finally found a glorious tree topper--an angel with these crazy fiber optic wings. I told my dad about the pressing need for one, and we got it. Then I drove the hour and a half home in rain and general nastiness (the Christmas Shoes song never played, to my disappointment).

Christmas Eve was interesting. I took my crazy sister out to buy Tim Horten gift cards for my parents in the morning. Then I came back, saw the holiday Office special, ate a good dinner, went to Church (which was incredibly hot considering all the C +E Catholics came out of the wordwork), suffered through my little sister having a complete meltdown and semi-ruining Christmas...

Then I hung out with a good friend of mine at his step-dad's family's Christmas celebration. I made a few good pedaphilia jokes in front of toddler parents, and then took off back towards my place. There we watched some Christmas Story (very good movie) and had some Grogg (it's Swedish) and then I drove him home. Over at his house we had long discussions about family, tradition, and this thing called Holiday Spirit. I left at about 3 AM, after the radio played "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," which, coincidentally, is one of the best Christmas songs ever thought up.

The last few years I have trouble around Christmas because I'm older and I feel like I've lost something connected to the season. I used to love this time of year, but global warming, my family's general dysfunctionality, and our lack of Nutcrackers have all taken a toll on my Christmas spirit. However, I think I've finally been able to overcome these obstacles. I'm trying to think of something deep to say, but I can't really come up with something. But while we were lip-syncing to "Hippopotamus for Christmas," I realized I've been able to finally be at peace with Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all....and to all a Good Night,
Barry


P.S. La la la la, look at the bells, look at the bells,
Holy crap here comes Jesus
And he doesn't look too happy...best Family Guy line ever..