BARRY'S LIFE FEB-APRIL! PICS! PICS! PICS!

Yesterday I got the powercord to my laptop back, so I can finally leave the computer lab forever and ever.

I promised some pics at some point, so here's a brief visual of what my life has been like the past few months. Hooray.

THE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY BLIZZARD!!!! AHHHHH!!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR 8-RIDE VAN ON SPRING BREAK!! INTENSE!!

WHERE WE ENDED UP!! THE EARTH IS SOOOO RICH A CITY GROWS!

THE TWIN CITIES!!! THE TWO MOST EXTREME CITY EVER!!!

ME SCREWING UP A PEPPERMINT PATTY AT BGSU AFTER SJJ'S "CHILDREN OF EDEN"!! IT GOT ON MY SWEATER!!!!!


AHHHH!! I'M YELLING!!!
--BARRRRYYYYY!!!!

Barry, Trip-sitter

Last night was interesting.

First was a pretty intense Icarus' Mother rehearsal, which included crying and long conversation about urinating into my open wounds, a concept that I vehemently protested. I didn't sign up for that crap.

Afterwards, we went over to the usual Theater party central. I have to tell you, I feel sorry for the four seniors that live there. There are random people there pretty much every single night. I think I would start throwing stuff if I lived there. Everyone uses their cups and drinks their booze and plays their Wii, it would suck after awhile. Oh well, at least they can't say they can get bored. And I've severely pissed off the proprietors of that household on a few locations, but I think they are cool with me now, sorta.

Anyway, while we there, three of my friends drank vials of synthetic mescaline that they bought earlier. I didn't have any, and didn't realize they were tripping until I noticed their pupils were the size of dinner plates. We walked around outside and played out on the beach. One of my friends, Chris, decided he wanted to walk around the streets, so I thought I should look after him. We had a long talk about life, acting, dream girls, and clouds. It was semi-insightful. We'll have to do it again sometime. Or maybe not. I thought they might jump over the pier and into the lake. Uh-oh.

We went back to the Theater apartment, drank, and then walked around campus. I figured I might as well leave now. And so I did. There it is. Life.

Dude,
Barry

Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay

Earlier today, I watched a sheep sacrifice in my anthropology class. That's an image that is going to linger.

Here is my latest journalistic exploit, a review of this spankin'-new funky-weird acid jazz CD by Steve Reid and Karin Hebden. Thought I'd key you in.

LINK!!!
http://media.www.loyolaphoenix.com/media/storage/paper673/news/2007/03/28/Diversions/Hebden.Reid.This.Duo.Speaks.In.tongues-2808118.shtml


Huzzah! I just got ahold of the newest 'Fountains of Wayne' record last night. It's pretty tight.

Peacer,
Barry

Hmm. Radical Transparency. Yes.

Yesterday I went out and bought the most recent edition of 'Wired' magazine. Why? The cover story is about "Radical Transparency", a spankin'-new evolving business theory which is near and dear to my heart.

Not.

However, the cover features Jenna Fischer (Pam from 'The Office') naked. Pretty cool. I thought I would get it for my "Office" memorabilia collection. Again, this is strictly for the historical record and not for my own enjoyment. Yeah, I spent 5 dollars. I'll put them up here for free for you guys. Douchebags.

Here's what the cover looks like from the newstand:



Here's what you get underneath the plastic transparency thing:

It's like a magic trick, only naked!


Oh yeah, this is from the actual article:



Although you could get into a big feminist tirade about how a woman who plays a receptionist should not be naked on the cover of a business magazine, I still kinda like it. I'll save arguing morals for people who can buy expensive porn.

Thought you should know,
Biz-arry.

Icky's Mom Has Got it Goin On

Can I just put something out there? I love ellipses. A lot. I was just thinking about it, and I wanted to pluck it out of my brain and put it on earth as a memorial to me. Thank you.

Anyway, it's been awhile. How's you? Better question: Who cares?

Seriously, though, I've been pretty good. I sincerely apologize for not letting you into my life the past few days. I promise to make it better.

I'll start kinda at the beginning. The weekend after spring break, I went back to the 419 for SJJ musical, Children of Eden. It was a crazy experience being in the audience instead of on-stage, and brought up more than a little nostalgia. Anyway, the production was pretty good. The set was so so, and after having even only a semester's worth of collegiate theatre experience, I can tell you most of the acting was close to atrocious. However, for a high school production, it was swell. I was pretty impressed. Afterwards, I went to BG and got smashed. Totally. I threw up a bucketload (read that "three bucketloads"), which has never happened to me before. Apparently, I passed out, but I'm skeptical because I clearly remember getting into the bed where I woke up. The only evidence to the contrary are little photo comments on facebook. Overall, though, it wasn't my best night. And now I'm a little wary of my first love, hard alcohol. I should maybe slow down anyway, considering I drink close to every night now (don't make any judgment calls yet, Billy Graham, I rarely get truly smashed). We all need to be addicted to something, right? Am I right?

If I am an alcoholic, I'm at least a productive one. Right now I'm Assistant Stage Manager for our production of "Icarus' Mother," this bizarre little play by Sam Shepard. We started rehearsal last Tuesday, and this probably the most fun production I've ever been a part of. The director, one Mike Fagin, is close to the most passionate person I've come across, and rehearsals are like cool fun times (a little ambiguous, I know). There is somewhat of a tension, though, because the SM and myself aren't really sure if we are going to hit certain marks on time. However, I think (or at least would like to believe) there is some method to his madness and everything will end well. We shall see. This takes me to the end of the school year, so I'll be talking about it a lot.

Last night, Mira and myself went downtown without much of a plan. I thought it'd be good if we actually went somewhere, because we hadn't been on a true date since early February. Anyway, we ended up going to the Devon Seafood Restaurant place on Chicago, which is incredibly good. It's also ridiculously expensive, if you get entrees. However, if you can withstand looks from the waitress, the appetizers are more than filling.

After that, we tried going to the John Hancock building wit it's fancy outdoor viewing deck, but were accosted by the guy selling tickets because the visibility was so bad. "I cannot believe that someone would spend $20 on going up when the visibility is 0 to 4 miles." He was pissed. I was convinced. So we ended up going to the Ghiradelli store (screw you, Italy and your hard to spell names), which was a good choice. This is because the group next had a bet going that this one guy could not eat the "EARTHQUAKE" in under 4 minutes. Let me explain. The "EARTHQUAKE" is this giant, 15 scoop ice cream platter-o-rama costing over $24. He didn't get under 4, but was done in under 20 minutes, without even vomiting. It was riveting. The highlight of the evening, pretty much. If only that could happen every day.

Then we went back to this one girl's dorm and had some nasty Margaritas. If there is one thing I hate more than contemporary Christian rock, it's crappy tequila. We started to watch High Fidelity, a Chicago classic that I have yet to see, but everyone was about to fall asleep besides the Barry, and so they stopped the movie before it was finished. I was bummed. C'est la vie, as someone says.

On a sidenote, I've noticed that I've had some pretty close to perfect days so far this spring. Like the one day it was gorgeous outside and there was free sushi in Rambler Room, or last night when we watched the guy engorge on ice cream. I think, just maybe, the universe is pleased with me. Hopefully this lasts for awhile.

Anyway, in celebration of so many good times thus far, I present you with this. Enjoy.


--Barry. Outtie.

Sodom and Gomorrah

This is what I'm talking about.

Spring Break '07 (aka This is Blue Earth) Pt. 3: Alone in the Big City

Well, sort of.

We got back Tuesday night, and it struck me that I was the only human being on my floor. Mertz was dead for a week. I could listen to music loud, throw stuff in the hallways, maybe walk around in a dress, it was my week. However, I spent a lot of it over at the skanky house of a theater friend, where there was quite a bit of boozing and...enlightenment.

Wednesday I decided to finally go out and see the Shedd Aquarium, which has been one of my goals since coming to Chicago. Let me tell you, it's freaking amazing. I think I might even become a member. If you ever come over, I'll take you around. Then I came back and saw "Zodiac," which I strongly recommend. I was bummed out that the killing ended within the first half-hour, but how can anybody not like Robert Downy, Jr. Compared to the "Unsolved Mysteries" Zodiac killer reenactments I've seen, this movie was bomb diggity.

Thursday I tried out the Merchandise Mart, which turned out to be mostly boring office buildings. I did try Jamba Juice for the first time, and now I know what happiness tastes like. I also went, on suggestion of my mother, to the Lincoln Park Zoo. It is free; that is cool. It reminds me of the Toledo Zoo back in the day, when we thought animals couldn't be happier walking back and forth in steel cages. It had a really vintage feel, and a really zoo smell.

Then I saw the midnight showing of 300, which is definitely awesome. I don't think it's the best movie ever, but it definitely was fun. And no, my first thought after seeing it was NOT "Wow, those guys were ripped." Although they were. My favorite part was probably these grenade launching magicians with long, silver-chain beards. They tickled me.

Friday I helped out at a homeless shelter with my Blue Earth buddies, and then kicked it with them. Saturday we went to a Pow Wow at Joliet Junior College. Not gonna lie, it was a little on the janky side. But I did get to try Indian tacos. And today I just got an e-mail saying that they are going to redo the trips in May. I think this story might have a happy ending after all.


Tomorrow I wake up early and Megabus it back east. I am seeing my high school's musical, "Children of Eden." We'll see how this goes; maybe I can finally show up Damian with my college theater experience. And, while I'm speaking about random crap, wasn't the weather beautiful Wednesday? Everyone was happy and dancing and laughing. We ended up throwing sand at each other on the beach. It got in my mouth. Not cool.

I swear, I'll have pictures up soon. Stop crying.

Killer with the beat I know killers in the street,
Barry

Spring Break '07 (aka This is Blue Earth) pt. 2: Valley of Darkness

Who doesn't love Psalm references? And today was a beautiful day. A few friends and myself got a little tipsy, went down to the beach, and I ended up with a face full of sand. But I have to finish the story I've started.

So we ended up in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

We stayed at a pretty decent Super 8, had some dinner at Pizza Hut, and basically relaxed. And then we found out that the Patrick, the head guy of the ABIs here was not letting us go any further. No chance. We were staying until Monday, and then driving back home. Now I can understand this course of action for the other group, considering their freakin van flipped, but everyone in our group wanted to go on. We were very disappointed, not even gonna lie. I barely slept that night--I was pretty angry. I have yet to write my strongly worded e-mail, but I might get around to that someday.

Nevertheless, Sunday was a blast. We went to Wal-Mart (boo) and then visited the Jolly Green Giant. We also played around in the giant mounds of snow, and I got really cold and wet. At one point I stepped into snow all the way up to the waist. It was really hard climbing up the snow mountains. I felt like a tortoise that some punk kid put on it's back. At one point I actually was on my back, and couldn't figure out how to get back on my feet. Whatever. It was a "good time" as they say. Then we made dreamcatchers with some stuff we bought at Wal-Mart, which kinda gave the whole thing an Indian feel sort of I guess.

And then we found out some more news. Apparently, the plans had changed. The passengers of the van that flipped had to use Amtrak to get back, and they were going to make everyone in both groups (mind you, we were totally separate groups with totally separate purposes) drive up and stay a night in the Twin Cities (those are Minneapolis and St. Paul, in case you didn't know). Bummer.

So we headed north out of our way two hours bright and early Monday morning to St. Paul. They forgot to mention our hotel was in the hood. Oh well, at least we could go to the Mall of Americas, or the world famous flour museum....psyche. Apparently, those aren't in the ABI spirit, but bowling is. How this was still considered an ABI I'll never really know. Really, I'm not knocking bowling, but I rather sample some of the local flava then do something I could do anywhere. But, everyone found my bowling technique amusing. Very amusing.

At night, our group had a little reflection which consisted of saying something about the trip that made us mad and punching a pinata. Then we played Apples to Apples (or "Ashes to Ashes" as someone kept calling it).

Tuesday we headed home. We missed the SPAM museum. That was a sad part. We arrived in Chicago at 6:30.

Thus concludes Part 2. Coming Soon: SB07 (AKATIBE) Part 3: Alone in the Big City.

Don't let this go to your head,
--Das Barry

Spring Break '07 (aka This is Blue Earth) pt. 1: Humble Beginnings

I've decided to break my story into a few parts this time, because there is a bunch to say. Also, my computer finally came back (rejoice if you must), but, joke's on me, they forgot the power cord [trombone "wah wah wah" noise here]

Anyway, for spring break I was supposed to go to Mission, South Dakota on an Alternative Break Immersion at an Indian Reservation. It was going to be a great time--horse back riding, these yummy food things called Indian tacos, rocks--all that fun stuff.

We never came close.

I woke up at 4:30 AM last Saturday, grabbed my bags, and we left at 5. I decided I would be the "el Navigator" and keep Paul, the trip leader and driver at the time, awake and jolly. We drove through Illinois (I finally saw that "Medieval Times" everyone keeps yelling about) and Wisconsin. That's when we suspected something was going down. The roads were pretty decent, but every few minutes a cluster of cars would be seen that had slid off the road and into giant mounds of snow. They must've been all from last night or something, because nobody was inside and some had police tape around them. "Meh," we thought, "only idiots drive off the road." We couldn't have been more wrong (or right, if you want to be mean about it).

We crossed the giant Mississippi River, which I've never seen, and started into Minnesota. The snow was huge. It wasn't snowing, but the roads were still sort of bad from a few days before. We got about an hour into the state and were looking a place to eat. Supposedly, all ways into SD were closed. Bummer. And then it happened. We were all talking and having a gay ol' time, and then, WHOOPS!, WHAT THE??, WHOA!! We slid off the road and into the snow. Crap. We collected ourselves and then started calling insurance. They were none to helpful, but some guy driving a plow saw us and called a tow truck and the fuzz. And it was freaking cold outside. Anyway, the tow truck came and gave us a "winch" (and I learned a new word), and we were on our way after about an hour. We slowly made our way to the next town, went to Subway, and decided what we should do.

There was another group going to another part of South Dakota. They were going the same way, though, and we thought we'd give them a heads up and see if they wanted to meet us. "Nah," they said, "We're going to the border, at least. We're already ahead of y'all. Blah, blah bl--silence." One of their vans flipped. Someone on one of these trips must've had pretty bad chi...

We decided we were going to stay for the night at the town where we were eating. Where were we?

Blue Earth, Minnesota. Home of the largest Jolly Green Giant statue and the Eskimo pie.

More to come,
Barry

P.S. Never fear, reader, I'll have pictures up soon

Oscar Reflections By Barry

Tonight I went to an Oscar party after striking down the Visit, and we watched the Oscars. I'm not gonna lie, I was throughly impressed. I laughed, some people cried, I learned. But I thought I might as well talk about it.

Amazing. The whole show. Props to you, Oscar people. The focus on "nominees" was a cool idea, and having the dance people dance out the nominees tickled me inside. They made a gun for Departed, a shoe thing for "Devil Wears Prada," and my favorite, the logo from "Snakes on a Plane."

There was also this really cool sound effects choir, which I really want to be a part of someday. They made noises, and yet they made music. Brings a tear to the eye, really.

And Ellen. I really like that Ellen Degen-lesbian person. She is a card. Probably the best host in a few years, not gonna lie.

The actual awards left us sometimes cheering and sometimes going "what? Huh?" Everyone was happy when Scorsese won Best director (wouldn't it've been funny if the "United 93" guy beat him? Am I right?). I mean, this was a monumental year. And then Jennifer Hudson and Alan Arkin for best supporting..who knew? Hudson, holy crap, raised in the Southside of this beautiful Chicago, loses on American Idol, and wins an Oscar. Suck on that, Reuben Studurd. Douche. I was a bit disappointed Wahlburg didn't win, but I guess I'll let that go. I liked Little Miss Sunshine. And then, duh, that GILF Helen won best actress, and that black guy won best actor. Diverse group, no movie dominating. I like that. You can smell the fear.

Best part of the night: Melissa Ethridge taking out three Dreamgirl's songs for Best Original Song. Funny stuff. The only way it could be worse would be if Randy Newman won. And I would stop watching.

Worst part: Jerry Seinfeld sucks. That whole rant about how he should be allowed to litter in movie theaters made me angry for all those hard-working, undereducated movie theater workers. C'mon, Jerry, you have nothing going for you. And Al Gore. Didn't like you at the Grammys, don't like you at the Academy Awards. Why don't you go get fatter? Huh? You hear that?

And best picture: The Departed (say it, De-paw-ted). I was a little taken aback, but I'll take it. I have owned for a few weeks, and I guess we'll have to have a Departy so that everyone can watch it.

Anyway, Marty, if you're reading, Congratulations! And I mean that, from the bottom of my heart. And Helen, if you're not too busy, maybe we can hang out sometime......

--Barry

Sure as a Rock

That's what I said last night in our first show since last week. The line's supposed to be "Firm as a rock," and then later I say "Sure as a gun." The funny thing is that the two girls behind me repeat what I say. So, after I messed up the line, there was a ten second pause where I'm sure they deliberated if they should repeat such a retarded line, and then they did. I have a feeling I'll never live this down. Whatevs, I'll add it to the list.

Other than that, the show went pretty smoothly. I'm hoping tonight will go a lot better, we shall see....and then the 'rents come Saturday. This will be interesting.

After the show, I went over to the Burgo's house and chilled. I watched 'Lost' for the first time since last season, and I had no idea what was going on. I hate shows that confuse me more than I am already. It's not fair.

After Lost, we went back to Zips and started doing a reading of "Arcadia," one of the shows going up in the mainstage next year. I really hope I'm able to get into this one--it'll be pretty cool. The basic premise is that people in present time are trying to figure out what happened 200 years ago, and the play switches between the two periods. Some of it gets incredibly dry, but some is really funny. The reading went pretty well--and there's a bunch of juicy male roles. I'm pumped. Other than that, we're putting up 'Guys and Dolls,' so I'll have to work on my Fugue for Tinhorns. I was in Guys and Dolls once in middle school. I was Harry the Horse, and to answer any questions that are burning in your head, no, I was not an actual horse. I was just some bookie guy. I'm hoping for something better this time around. We're also doing other stuff, but I can't remember what that is. Oh well.

One last thought. Oscars. 2007. What's up with that? Maybe later I'll post my thoughts, but unfortunately I haven't actually seen almost any of the Best Picture noms. I feel like a loser. But I keep my spirits up.

Firm as a gun,
Barry

Opening Weekend Musings

Right now, I'm tip-typing away next to a man with a self-imposed bald spot. He looks like some monk from the Church of Creepers with Mustaches.

He plays the Burgomaster in "The Visit."

Last Friday was our first official show. There was some craziness caused by the fact that one of the cast members (and the girl who's cast as Cinderella for the musical) suffered from a collapsed lung that morning. We were able to cover it, and everything went pretty smoothly. At some point in the first scene, the gloves I carry fell out of my pocket and into the audience, never to be seen again. This apparently severely pissed off one of the ASMs, but I think she already thought I was mildly retarded. For some reason I can never really escape that stigma. Alas, live and let live. Plus, I only have to put up with her crap for another weekend. It's only her too...the other ASM and stage manager are totally cool.

Whatever. I'm not gonna worry about it too much. They had an extra pair of gloves, so it all worked out. And now all I have to look forward is strike.

The process, however, has been great. The cast is bomb diggity, and now I have my foot firmly planted in the door of the Loyola theater fun time group. I get a pretty cool bloody apron as the town butcher/abortionist. And I smoke a bunch of cigarettes. Crazy times. I'm pretty pumped for next weekend, when the fam shows up to see it. You could come too, if you cared at all. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. You have plenty of options. But you're a douche. I see.

Whatevs. It's been a total blast so far, and as my first non-musical stage experience, I say it's a great success.

Over two kilos (that's a quote)--
Barry

A Plug

Last night was opening night for my show, "The Visit," where I star as town butcher/abortionist. It's good time. Here are some dates:

Saturday: 7:30
Sunday: 2:00

Next weekend:
Thursday, Friday, Saturday: 7:30
Sunday: 2:00

Crazy times.

"We may be heathens, but we are not Jews..."
--Barry

FREAKIN SNOW!!!! and a lesson about karma

Today. Was intense. I woke up this morning in a bit of a daze, and said to myself "O Barry, I should sleep now instead of going to my 11:30 class." As always, it was a pretty decent idea, and I didn't really notice the damage that WINTER BLAST 2007 WA-HOO!! left at Chicago until I went to lunch around 1 PM.

It was ca-razy. Snow was piled up in giant mounds everywhere. Little girls were being knocked over by the wind. The snow would whip you in the face no matter which direction you walked, as if saying, "that's right. Take it." At least that's what it said to me.

In it's own way though, it was beautiful. I took some pictures of it while waiting for the El, but I can't put them up because my camera batteries are dead. Sucks for you, I know. The snow always dampens the sound, so where ever you walk it seems as though you're in your own little microcosm. What can I say? I prefer to call myself a romantic, not a weirdo.

And the lesson about karma. Two Thursdays ago I came home to find my computer had slit it's wrists. I sent it to the computer hospital last Tuesday, and happily received back in the mail today. I rushed up to my room (well, not really considering the wind eating my face) and turned that baby on...only to find it has the exact same problem. After exactly five minutes of being on, it turns itself off. I'm getting increasing pissed off as I talk about this. I'm not sure how this is a lesson in karma. I'm pretty much perfect, and I don't know why the universe would be mad at me...however, from now on I'm gonna try to be even more perfect. It'll be tough, but I don't want to be hammering out Blogs in the computer lab where everyone can read them. I guess everyone can read them anyway, considering the nature of blogs...

I found out their was a sale on the Office Season Dos at Borders until Valentine's Day. I made this epic-level journey only to find they had sold out. Don't ask me how, but I ended up buying a M.C. Escher coffee table book and"The Departed" DVD (apparently this is the first day it's out, and it was on sale for like freakin 20 bucks. I rule). Hopefully I can still find that Office Season Two somewhere (Borders has it on sale for $19.99. I want it soooooo bad)...

Happy V -Day!
--Barizzle

P.S. Not Happy VD day. No day with VD is happy.

Snowy Skokie

Last Thursday night, my computer died. Dead. Nada. Kaput. Game over. Do not pass go do not collect $200 dollars.

So I called Tech support, which is always interesting. Everyone there has the thick Indian accent, and I talk funny, so we end up repeating ourselves ad nauseum. Anyway, I was finally able to communicate to my tech support chick that my computer was unfixable by someone as qualified as myself. They promptly sent me a box with the firm instructions to only send it from a Fedex Store, the closest of which is in Skokie.

That was my journey today. The quest to Fedex. It started off innocently enough, me catching all the trains right in the nick of time, not having to wait for anything. I was somehow always afraid of Skokie. It sounded like a place I'd be totally cool with not ever having been to in my life. I mean Skokie, it sounds like some punchline, like Yonkers.

It turned out to be pretty enough. It reminded me of home, since most of everyone I know lives in the Toledo suburbs. Just a bunch of cute little houses huddled in the snow. And I had to trek through a needless block of the snow because I didn't know how to manage the Pace bus. And that's where my trouble began...

Shipping my laptop consisted of me waiting behind two people, both of which got a snappy response from the attendant ("um, it says that my package is here." "Yes, but it won't be available until tomorrow." "So, wait, it's here, but I have to wait a day to get it?" "Yes, sir, that's just how it works. NEXT!") I have expected her to chew me out for having the sticker in the wrong place, but I got finished in roughly two and half seconds.

Then I waited for the bus for 15 minutes. In subzero temperatures. Without gloves.

That wasn't the bad part. The bad part was my Chuck Taylors, which sucked up the water and turned my little piggies into toesicles. I have expected to peel my sock off when I got home and find my foot had been turned black from frostbite. That might not be so good for my career...

However, I wouldn't let my foot take the rest of me down. I walked around a little of downtown Skokie, which consisted of mostly delis (Skokie has always for some reason brought up images of some sort of 'Jewville, USA,' and, like always, I wasn't far off). The food was good, and I left happy.

The real highlight of the trip, though, is that I was able to steal one of the Yellow Line map things. The Yellow Line has two stops...Howard, and Skokie. But for some reason they figured they might as well put up maps. For all those people who felt their intelligence was insulted, I decided to steal one and plus it adds to my collection (I got red, and purple, and that's about it right now).

Alright, well I gotta peace,
B to the arry.

2-4-07

Last night I was assaulted by a naked man.

--BARRY

P.S. Come see the Visit!

P.S.S. Go bears.

Radio Golf

I've gotten tired of looking at my "facebook etiquette" post, and I'm mildly pissed no one commented on my 2006 music review (yeah, I'm talking to you), so I decided I would rant and rave about my recent weekend and other developing developments in my life.

Maybe I haven't made it clear enough that I am now in Loyola's production of "The Visit," starring as Hofbauer (or 'First Man' if you read the program). Anyway, rehearsals have been going pretty well, which I'm at 7 days a week, usually for at least 4-6 hours. And that's what I was doing Friday night. After rehearsal, I kicked back with some of my scenemates at this one group of senior's apartment. One Fab-u-lous man was making all sorts of yummy cocktails (no pun intended, oh I slay me)....with free Skye vodka. It was quite good. I'm pretty sure I kissed him at some point, but I won't get into that. After that I walked back to CFSU, which was having some sort of all-nighter fun times thing...with a mechanical bull. There are some rare cell phone pictures of me spanking the thing (not gonna lie, I owned that muthaf*cker), but they'll never end up here, so suck it.

Saturday was also good times. I woke up at freakin 10 AM, had rehearsal until 5, and then got ready to go with Samira to "Radio Golf" down at the Goodman:


In case you didn't read the top paragraph.

Anyway, it was freaking amazing. It's the first show I've ever seen in the Theater District, and it was hella cool. August Wilson, he's a good guy. Funny too.

The best part about it? I got in for free. I wrote a review of the show, and so got two free passes, and they were awesome seats. Afterwards, we went to Giodarnio's or whatever (darn wop names...j/k j/k, you know I'm the Eitelian Stallion) because it was the only place open in the whole snow-covered place. There famous for their stuffed crust pizza, and I can see why. I had a bunch of mine left over. It was also pretty friggin cold. Really cold. But overall it was an amazing evening. Quite awesome.

I would put up the pictures that I got free for being in the press, but I figured it might make a little trouble for your's truly, and I wouldn't want to lose my free theater stuff. Guess you'll have to check out this Wednesday's Phoenix to get the whole story....

Check it. I gotta go do laundry,
Barry


P.S. Dates for Visit: Feb. 15-18, 22-25. Come see. You won't be disappointed.

Barry's Guide to Proper Facebook Etiquette

After doing some pretty heavy Facebooking, I've realized that people bug me. All of them. Well, maybe minus a few. I think I feel some grievances about to air....

*Alright, it's all cool to put up pictures of you and your friends on facebook. Good. I like to see people. But I draw the line when I see people who put albums containing approximately 60 billion photos that all depict a group of college kids getting sloshed. C'mon, people, be a little more selective with your pictures. If you wouldn't develop all of these pictures, don't put them up. Just because it's possible to vomit up all your photographic trash on Facebook doesn't mean you should. And to those kids who are tagged in 7000 pictures....I wish I was you. There just is not enough pictorial evidence to document my life. I digress; that's a story for another day.

*The other day I came across a group griping about the limits of the relationship status. What a bunch of losers. They were all like, "If you can input what religion you are, why can't you make up a relationship status," and I was all like "Why don't you download some more kiddie porn, douchebag?" But yelling at my computer doesn't have much affect. If you take Facebook that seriously, well, you might have less of a life than your's truly. Although it would be kinda cool to have my status be "Playa Fo Real."

*Notes. If you make them depressing, I'm going to make some snide comment making fun of your crappy life. Facebook is no place for making anybody feel bad about anything. It's a place of fun and carefreeitude. Go complain on your blog that nobody reads (case in point. At least I follow my own rules).

*If you have the nerve to invite to a group, it better have a pretty freakin hilarious title. Otherwise you're not worth my time, I'm not gonna join your group, you pissed me off, and you're gay. What's the point of any Facebook group if reading the title doesn't inspire chortling from viewers of your profile? Eh? And any group with words like "official petition" can suck it. For one, it's not official, for two, it's not a petition. Shut up.

*To all those dudes who operate under the "I don't friend request people, people friend request me"--I wish I was as popular as you.

There it is.

From me to you,
--The Illustrious Barry

Annual Music-Mania

I kinda been wanting to do this for awhile, so I figured I better get it out of my system before February rolled around. So here it is. My music picks for 2006 (whoa, that rhymed):

These are in no particular order.

STADIUM ARCADIUM
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
Not gonna lie, this is prolly like one of my fav CDs of all time and space. But, seriously, folks, this double disk is great. Pretty much any song picked off the album could be a good single, but my favorite is "Snow," and I'm so glad they finally released it as a single a little while ago. I never really figured out what an Arcadium Stadium was, but I can get pass that. If there is one your gonna buy, make it this one.



FEEDBACK
JURASSIC 5
I got this one on a bit of a whim, and was pretty impressed. I was turned on to these guys a few years ago by this really tall guy. Basically, Jurassic 5 is a bunch of old black dudes rapping, and they have a real old school (or ol skewl, if you will) feel. They actually have one song featuring Dave Matthews, and it's pretty fresh. The songs on this album are so different than most other rap out there. There is a lot more of a focus on samples and funkiness, like one song which samples "Love and Happiness" by Al Green, which I always thought would be a good idea.

THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE MOON
RICHARD CHEESE
This is basically a greatest hits collection, but I love this guy. He and his backing band (Lounge Against the Machine) cover alternative and top 40 hits in a very groovy way (their cover of "Down With the Sickness" is featured in "Dawn of the Dead"). His big band versions of NIN's "Closer" or Nirvana's "Rape Me" are great, and when I hear "Badd" by Ying Yang Twins, I laugh every time. At least listen to the free samples on his MySpace.



BEGIN TO HOPE
REGINA SPEKTOR
This CD has been out since June, and I was just turned on to it over Christmas break. Spektor and her "anti-folk" movement are pretty fun to listen to. Basically, picture Fiona Apple without the suicidal tendencies and the man-hatred.






A MILLION MICROPHONES
SUPERSYSTEM
This is a Chicago band, and coincidently, the first CD I bought in Chicago. It's pretty electro-boogie-funkalicious. Although the lyrics are somewhat, how you say, retarded, the music is innovative enough to make up for it. This is one band I would recommend to pretty much anybody.





ONCE AGAIN
JOHN LEGEND
When I found out John Legend was releasing his sophomore album this year, I nearly wet myself. Alright, take out the nearly. But nevertheless, this is one of the top of my top picks of CD this year. In my mind, Legend is single-handedly saving R & B as we know it. He is quite the keyboardist. Although some of his songs make him seem like a sleezebag, I really don't mind. His songster ability makes up for it.



EYE TO THE TELESCOPE
KT TUNSTALL
This is the British chick that sings the "wa-hoo" song. Like Spektor, this CD has been out for quite awhile (like Feb) and I was just turned on to her recently. Quite a bummer, cause then I could've enjoyed it sooner. Alas, that is life. Anyway, the music has a pretty stripped down rock feel to it. Although the best songs are the singles, the rest is not bad, either. I wouldn't exactly call it chick rock...mostly because I own the CD.



STRAIGHT OUTTA LYNWOOD
"WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC
Last not but not least, one of my other most anticipated releases of the year. And his best selling album to date. I love it. Actually, even though I've heard almost all his other CDs, this is the only one I own. "White and Nerdy" has quickly became one of my favorite songs by him, and the polka on this is superb, putting Pussycat Dolls and Franz Ferdinand to accordion (just like God intended).




Well, I hope you were entertained. Feel free to sing my praises and/or add your own inadequate ideas.

Love,
Barry

Starting 2007 off on the right foot

So, today the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists has turned the "doomsday clock" closer to midnight two minutes, to five minutes 'till midnight. Midnight means "end of the world."

The clock was created in 1947 and is an arbitrary measure of how close humanity is to destroying themselves. Good stuff.

Apparently, increased nuclear proliferation, global warming, and the fact that the U.S. and Russia have 2,000 missiles at the ready to destroy the world bugs someone else as well. We'll see, I'll probably be asleep in five minutes.

--Barry

Detroit Auto Show Mania!!!!!!

As a last hoo-rah for Christmas break, I thought it would be a hoot if we went up to the Detroit International Auto Show. Yes, I know nothing about actual automobiles, but I am intrigued by spinny and shiny things. Anyway, here are some pictures.

This is the new Honda Accord Coup. Subtract 15 years and add two doors...you get my car.




The Ford Airstream concept car. The most pimpinest mini-van ever created (voted by JD Power and Associates). Notice the swivel passenger chair. Pimpinest.



This thing is now my dream car. It's called the Efijy. Mmmm. What would I do for one? I'd rather not get into it....



Does the girl come with the car? [rimshot]



Well, I gotta head on out, partner.



Vroom!
-B@rry

Licking shots...

Not gonna lie, today was pretty jam-packed.

As the second to last day of my stay in the scenic Southwest Michigan area, I decided that I would hang out with some BGSU buddies last night. We ate these giant "stuffed" breadsticks, which were kinda like canoli, but instead of whipped cream they were filled with cheese and meat. I stayed there pretty late, but made the long haul back to Bedford because my mom needed a car (my dad's transmission got killt, so we were playing man down for awhile there).

Today I went with an old friend and his uncle to a shooting range where we shot a multitude of pistolas. Now I haven't shot a handgun in like 3 years, and I definitley felt like the idiot in the group. I'm just not hick enough. It was still fun though, especially my friend's .45 revolver, which is freakin huge. I think even I could intimidate someone with this gun.

After that and some Elbo Room pizza, we went out to see "Children of Men" or some crap, which was an excellent movie. There were lots of explosions and British people and fascists and the future. Go out. Watch it.

However, apparently after the premiere of "Stomp the Yard" a huge fight broke out. I was like, "Wow, that movie musta sucked! [rimshot]" We came down the escalator to find the parking lot flooded with 5-0 and a bunch of young black kids. We asked an officer what was up, and he told us about the fight. Man, how come fights never happen at the end of my movies?? I'd love to take some kid out, and then quickly duck out before being caught by the authorities. Word.

And then tomorrow I'm prolly headed up to the International Auto Show Extravaganza!! in Detroit. We'll see. Not gonna lie, not a huge car guy, but I do like shiny things that I'm not allowed to touch (like girls), so I don't think I'll be disappointed.

I also just found out that my spring practicum assignment is being Assistant Stage Manager for a show, a position I didn't exactly sign up for. I'm somewhat flattered, but I don't know if this plus being in Das Visit will suck away my life. But then again, I like being busy. We shall see.

Stompin the yard,
Barry.

P.S. I love this White Rapper show on VH1. Love it.

I'd like to Auld Lang her Syne...

Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch for a title, but I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with 2007 (besides "heaven," or "Oy! Glevin!," which I'm pretty sure doesn't mean anything). Not gonna lie, I've been meaning to update this sooner, and I'm just getting around to it now.

Let me tell you, New Years Eve was a blast. I was invited this fabolous man's house for a party with some close friends and some random chicks. And the free booze was flowing like, well, free booze. What can I say, I'm an oppurtunist; morals aren't my thing. I had lots of liquer that I've never tried before, and I got to play Barry the Bartender for myself and create crazy drinks. Like gin and [dollar store] juice. Or a White Barry. I got pretty tipsy, but not so much as everyone else. To be honest, the whole experience was a little weird cause I never drank really with my Toledo friends. It was a little surreal, now that I'm reflecting on it. And I got to sleep under the pool table, so I never actually went to sleep. I had to work the next day, so I just left at 7 AM (don't worry ladies, I was sober) and crashed (pun intended) at my house. And my Jello (TM) shot at midnight was still liquid, and pretty much disgusting. Good times, though.

The next day I think was much more prophetic about how 2007 will turn out for me. I went bowling in Monroe with Miles (grade school buddy), his girlfriend, and this chick who works at Krogers.

I scored the highest bowling ever scored by me in my short life:
114.

Don't laugh. This is freakin monumental. I got three strikes in a row, too (a little Turkey popped up on the moniters). And I won the game. I went for 200 the next game, but had to settle for 60. Still, 2007 is shaping up pretty sweetly.

Also in the new year I've gotten the back of my calves chewed up by my ice skates, seen Marie Antoinette (sp?) and The Departed, and tried my hand at making homemade ginger ale. I saw it on Wikihow and decided to give it a whirl cause I was bored. I'll try it out tomorrow and tell ya what I think. Supposedly it has some alcohol in it.

And then today I spent most of the day replaying some good ol' Age of Empires, but I had to stop my seige of Gaul by the Huns because my dad kept talking to me about scholarships, and it was distracting me from conquest. Bummer.

Tomorrow I go to Ann Arbor with some buds. Hopefully they'll be some awesome photos to come.....

Oy! Glevin! it's 2007
--Barry

Year XIX

This post is a little sentimental, so if you can't stomach sappiness, check out of the archives for something a little maschuliner.

On this fateful day exactly nineteen years ago, the wrath of God was unleashed into the world in the form of yours truly.

Over these past 19 years, I've met a lot of people. I'd like to take this oppurtunity to give some props to all those who've been part of my lifestory.

-My peeps in Rossford who knew me until the third grade.
-All the people in Bedford, no matter how much of a hillbilly you are.
-My neighbors, even though you're total pricks.
-Those Marching Titans whom I knew every intimate detail regarding your personal lives.
-All those crazy St. John boys.
-And the teachers. Yes, that includes you, Morrison. You gave me something to laugh about and hate at the same time.
-The beautiful St. Ursula girls I knew.
-All those intelligent Notre Dame girls I knew.
-My Gautemala and New Orleans fellas.
-Anyone in a show with me, from Bedford, to high school, to TCAP.
-My co-counselors at Lakota, even though you were all guys.
-Those crazy college kids I hang out with now.
-And of course, my family, who's total insanity has inspired many interesting storylines.

I'd also like to thank now all those who haven't yet met me but will in the future (Like you, Ms. Lohan, or you, Bono).

So, yeah. Happy birthday to me. (you can sing the song now)

Let's get drunk in Canada,
Barry

An Eitel Family Christmas Pt. I

So this Christmas, like most recent Christmases, I've been trying to find the "true spirit of Christmas," much like that Charlie Brown fellow.

I have discovered that it is not in the song "The Christmas Shoes," which is perhaps the worst Christmas-related tune written in 2000 years. Not only is it depressing and puts a damper on the whole day, it is incredibly stupid. What kinda person would want shoes to put on before they die? I would much rather want anti-biotics, or at least morphine. However, now that I have realized how awful a song "Christmas Shoes" is, I can't wait to hear it whenever I listen to 101.5 The River's Continous Christmas Music Insanity. If I ever go to a Christmas party and there is karoki, I mos def am doing "Christmas Shoes."

Anyway, back to real life. I finished all my shopping for people on Thursday after a quick trip to Kohl's and the mall (which I hate going to if I'm not getting paid to be there, BTW). I got some pretty sweet stuff, like a robo-dinosaur, and a pirate book, and a chocolate fondue thing that I say is for Mom but is pretty much for me, and a hat...pretty exciting. Wrapping is another story. I suck. I'll have to post up pics soon if I can get a working camera, because it's pretty sad. Alas.

We bought a real tree this year after I dropped a random hint I wanted one over Thanksgiving, which kinda blew my mind. However, we didn't really have a true topper for it. So Friday I got the idea to go up to Frankenmuth (Michigan's little Bavaria) and buy a tree topper at the largest Christmas store in the world (go big or go somewhere else, that's my motto). Unfortunately, none of my friends wanted to make the 1.5+ hour trip up there. Somehow I convinced my dad, and so me, my father, my insane little sister, and my cute little sister (we sorta kidnapped her) went on a noble quest to get the tree topper, although I seemed to be the only one really loyal to the cause. We did a little site-seeing; it's very pretty there. They have lots of kandy (German for candy), and the people who serve it look like they belong in the "It's A Small World" ride.

Finally we got to Bronner's, and I got lost among the Magi, dancing snowmen, and novelty chili-pepper lights. I finally found a glorious tree topper--an angel with these crazy fiber optic wings. I told my dad about the pressing need for one, and we got it. Then I drove the hour and a half home in rain and general nastiness (the Christmas Shoes song never played, to my disappointment).

Christmas Eve was interesting. I took my crazy sister out to buy Tim Horten gift cards for my parents in the morning. Then I came back, saw the holiday Office special, ate a good dinner, went to Church (which was incredibly hot considering all the C +E Catholics came out of the wordwork), suffered through my little sister having a complete meltdown and semi-ruining Christmas...

Then I hung out with a good friend of mine at his step-dad's family's Christmas celebration. I made a few good pedaphilia jokes in front of toddler parents, and then took off back towards my place. There we watched some Christmas Story (very good movie) and had some Grogg (it's Swedish) and then I drove him home. Over at his house we had long discussions about family, tradition, and this thing called Holiday Spirit. I left at about 3 AM, after the radio played "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," which, coincidentally, is one of the best Christmas songs ever thought up.

The last few years I have trouble around Christmas because I'm older and I feel like I've lost something connected to the season. I used to love this time of year, but global warming, my family's general dysfunctionality, and our lack of Nutcrackers have all taken a toll on my Christmas spirit. However, I think I've finally been able to overcome these obstacles. I'm trying to think of something deep to say, but I can't really come up with something. But while we were lip-syncing to "Hippopotamus for Christmas," I realized I've been able to finally be at peace with Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all....and to all a Good Night,
Barry


P.S. La la la la, look at the bells, look at the bells,
Holy crap here comes Jesus
And he doesn't look too happy...best Family Guy line ever..

Some Official Late Fall/Winter Movie Reviews

So, I've been seeing a lot of movies lately, and since I'm home and have nothing to do at all, I figured I'd kill some time by sharing with you my thoughts on certain recent cinematic events. I think I just might be all caught up on what I want to see, so I figured this was a good time....

Borat
I saw this the first week it was out. Not gonna lie, probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. And most people would agree with me, besides perhaps our friends the Jews, the Christian right, blacks, Alabamans, homosexuals, frat boys, Kid Rock, and pretty much anyone else who isn't young and white and sheltered. Either way, I thought it provided some of the best satire of the American view of the outside world through the mouths of Americans. What is even funnier, I think, is that someone was telling me how she was telling all her friends that Kazakhstan (sp?) was a real country, and her friends were like, "What an idiot, she doesn't get the joke. It's made up." Not so, douchebags. Not so. Better brush up on your former Soviet Eastern European nations.
My Rating: Wary Nice!

Casino Royale
I went into this movie thinking, meh, James Bond. He gets a lot more action (in all sorts of ways) than I do, so naturally, I can't say I love the guy. This movie could be my favorite Bond movie, and I've seen quite a bunch. Peirce (sp?) Brosden can suck it. I like it cause he straight up kills people, he's so, as the late Rick James would say, Cold...Blooded. Note how the Ugandans are the bad guys, after all the "Invisible Children" publicity. I also wonder why the Bond franchise have never resorted to using the sterotypical crazed A-rab terrorist. Maybe they think they'll be killed. Those crazy Islamists (jk jk. Don't kidnap me).
My Rating: Good one!

Deju Vu
No connection with the gentlemans club (calm down, fellows). I saw this most recent Denzel movie after leveling a stop sign with my car. The excitement of the movie didn't match the trip. It's like an hour and a half CSI. Plus, the crazy time bending concept wasn't really explained too well. The chick was pretty hot, I will give them that.
My Rating: See it on DVD when you and your buddies are wasted. That 's more advice than a rating, but it's my house, my rules. Jerk.

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
At first I thought this was going to be some sort of Andrew Lloyd Webber metal musical, so I was pleased when someone had some dialogue. Although a lot of the humor appeals to seven year olds (and some 18 year olds), I still found myself having a laugh and a half. It also requires a bit of an interest in classic rock/metal, so be forewarned if that is not your cup of tea. Either way, see Borat first.
My Rating: Pretty righteous.

Apocalypto:
Despite Mel Gibson being a bit of an anti-Semitic Austrailian douchebag (though I can't say I'm a whole lot better, and he is richer than I am), he's still a decent director, and I was pretty pumped to see his newest Maya epic. I loved it, even though it was in subtitles. It's pretty violent, so be forewarned, you ladies (and girly men). Actually there's a lot of "Oh snap" moments, such as "Oh snap, dude just got his heart pulled out" or "Oh snap, dude just jumped off a waterfall and hit a rock." BTW, definitely buying this when it appears on DVD.
My Rating: Oh snap, dude just got his face eaten by a panther.

Hope this blog has helped you in your filmatic decisions. I think I'm going to go make some cookies. Feeling a little domestic today.

That is all
~Barry

Something other than what I should be doing

Huh, this week is finals week. And I have a pretty locked and loaded schedule. I had my DSTP exam today, my "crafts for the stage" one tomorrow (kinda a joke, not gonna lie). Then Thursday I have a philosophy exam, and a philosophy paper due, and my anthropology exam (it's like 9 blasted pages of single space hell) is due on top. And then Friday I have my Virtuous Eating. Then I will have made it outta the dark tunnel and into the beautiful Black Swamp region. Did I mentioned that the d-bag who made the schedule at work has me closing last night, tonight, tomorrow night, and Thursday night? There's the catch, how can me not fail skool with my nights taken up? Study during the day? Are you kidding? I'm too busy wasting my life doing this.

This weekend was...eventful. I worked Friday (I'm getting pretty good at the closing gig, mostly cause I cut a lot of corners and I know that appearences are everything. Muwhahaha....if you're a future employer of mine, I'm just kidding of course.) Saturday was the closest thing to a high school dance involving me since, well, high school. A lovely friend of mine accompanied me to a performance of "The Nutcracker" by the Joffrey Ballet (there really world-renowned, for all you swine out there). However, before we were a little late because her whole floor was involved in dressing her up. There was even the prom mom to take a poloroid of us (I haven't seen it, I have feeling I look pretty goofy..not that I don't all the time).

Let me throw this out there and I'm not gonna get into it because I'll get all perturbed: Public transportation is not the classiest way to travel.

The ballet was pretty good. Not gonna lie, I was entertained. Plus, I've never actually seen Nutcracker. Afterwards, we walked about 7 billion blocks to Cheesecake Factory, which was delicious.

Until about 5 AM the next morning, when I started vomiting violently. I had probably the worst case of food poisoning I've ever had, I'm guessing from the cheeseburger. I think I'm going off beef for a small while. I mean, I could barely hold down water. It was nuts. I know, I know, it sucks that you didn't know about it while it was actually happening so you could offer your condolences sooner. Don't worry, I forgive you.

Then during study day, I went to the Michigan Ave (say it ave, not avenue. It sounds more chic). I decided to continue my tradition of giving socks to someone for Christmas, because, honestly, is there a suckier gift than socks? Psyche! There $16 socks from the 5 story Polo store (marked down to $4.89, but that's beside the point). Anybody would be proud to don these babies, lemme tell you.

I really should be working on something meaningful, it's pathetic. I'm sorry.

Remember, time is the enemy of cheese,
-me

Loose Change...pretty tight

This is one you might wanna read in your basement with an aluminum foil hat on.

Politically, I try not to dabble in the whole left-right spectrum. I think both Republicans and Dems are nowadays whack groups (although I do like hard-core liberals better than hard-core neo-cons). After reading some interesting literature and meeting some people, I would have to say I'm in the anarchist camp. Would I blow up a Wal Mart? We'll see, they don't have them in Chicago. However, considering this is a personal blog and not a hardcore political one, I'm not gonna shove some views down your throat....and then show you pictures of my cat.

However, I heard about a video today, and after watching it, my mind is not far from being blown. It's called "Loose Change," and it basically lays out how 9-11 was a act of state terrorism committed by the United States government. Not gonna lie, they have some semi-convincing evidence. Supposedly the movie is gonna go to theaters sometime in '07. I have my doubts about that, but it is one of the most watched movies on the internet.

Here it is:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7866929448192753501&q=loose+change&hl=en

It's long (about 1.5 hours), so give yourself some time to watch it.

And then here is a blog created solely to refute it (hey, man, I'm all about balance....and honey mustard, but that's a different story):
http://screwloosechange.blogspot.com (I love that title)

Anyway, check that out. Arm yourself with knowledge, that's what I say.

Barry. Out.

P.S. Yes, I know I'm going to be blacklisted for this. I'm pretty sure I am already, though.

Mark your calenders: Some weekend in Feburary

Steak knife. Card Shark. Con Job. Boot cut.

Those are just some of the lyrics of "By the Way" by RHCP, who are coming to Chi-ville Feb. 27th, and I kinda need to go to that.

By the way (see, it all goes together), I did get into Loyola's production of "The Visit" by Freddrich German Guy (I have no respect for anything). I'm First Man, but don't let that fool you, I have lotsa lines. Considering the play takes place in Germany, I think I might give myself a fitting name such as Adolf Schwartzinager. We'll see, but not until second semester. The weird thing about getting into a play is that whenever I see a theater major they offer their congratulations. People I didn't even think knew me are all like "Hey, congratutions" and I'm all like "Hey, thanks. Same to you." Honestly, however, I don't have the cast list memorized, so I might be congratulating people who didn't get in. But really, it's so weird that the whole community knows I got the part. Weird.

So, Cinderella auditions were today, I am almost positive I bombed them. I didn't really have real piano music, found my monologue at 3 AM the night before on the internet, and the dance audition was the most intense dance audition I ever have been in. It was straight up ballet. Because I knew there was no way I could do it actually, I tried going for "goofy." Unfortunately, I think the choreographer was looking for "good." I'm not called back, so we'll see. Honestly, I am not going to be too sad if I don't get in, considering that I nailed it in The Visit. And, this is Barry speaking from the heart here, Cinderella is probably one of the suckiest musicals ever. All the music is waltz, the same waltz. Rogers and Hammerstein wrote it for TV. I'm not even joking. But, it would still be a blast to be in, so here's to getting in.

I saw "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny" tonight....I'm going to have to have a winter movie review, because I have been to the theaters a lot recently. More on this later.

And I get back from Campion to Mertz at 4 AM to find out there was a fire drill in process. In 20 degree weather. But, I wasn't too pissed....at least I walked in on it, and didn't wake up to it. When I walked up to Mertz, there was a girl making out with some random dude. Then she walked up and I told her about the fire alarm, and we talked for a little bit. So at least I met someone knew (if she remembers me at all). She had a lot more of a liquid coat on at the time; I only had one Corona all night (yeah for free good beer).

I found out today that I close at work Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and next Monday. I might slit my wrists before next week....thank God I still have that option.

And the beat goes on,
B-arry

Camera Time

Now that I have a digital camera, I have something to fill up the empty void of a life I call exsistence. I'm gonna go get some eyeliner.

These aren't in any space-time order because blogger's photo adding tool confused me.

This is my roomate. It is a fern. I'm deciding what to name it.

This is what you can see from my window at about 5:00 PM. Yes, that is Lake Michigan.
The stuff on my desk after I messed around with the "effects" button on my camera.
My boss sent this to me. Go figure. It holds up my DVD player.

This is what you see when you enter.

This is my ode to sticky tack.

Huh, wonder who that creeper could be....

Anyway, there is my free and unasked for tour of my room (minus the stuff I didn't want you to see, i.e. whips and chains, my Haitian slave). Hope you enjoyed it enough to come back someday.

It's been one week--

Oh, barenaked ladies. I wonder how many elderly perverts went to one of their concerts planning to see a few barenaked ladies. That kinda disappointment just sucks.

I'm not even gonna try to describe everything that's happened since my last post, for one because I don't think anyone really cares....for two, it would be a lot of writing.

What can I say, SOA was a blast. I got to meet up with old friends (yes, you Courtney) and make some new ones (like smelly Larry, and some dude we found on our hotel room's floor). Somehow I was able to abuse everyone's charitable spirit and get the bed both nights. Wary nice!

After getting back at 6 AM Monday, I went back to the 734 at 3:30 Tuesday. And yes, I almost missed the bus for a second time. Tuesday night I hung out with my buddy Eric, and concieved plans for a Toronto trip after I turn 19. Wednesday I worked for a good amount of time, then went to Texas Roadhouse (for the first time in about five years) with another Erik, Dano, Colleen, Julie, and other assorted band chicks. Quite yummy. Then the night continued with a trip to Maxwells to converse with two Houstons, a Hasbrook, and Chrandy (basically we swapped drinking stories).

Thursday was Thanksgiving, which we had at out house for a change. The turkey was a little dry, but I did manage to sneak some wine with my parents. My aunt came with a OSU Taiwanese exchange student who was pretty good at making pie. I thought maybe I should hang out with her, but I had so many people to do and places to see, it was tough.

Highlight of the break: Thursday night was very foggy, and we had the bright idea to go see a movie in Maumee. I was looking for (then passing) the theater in my trusty '93 Honda Accord when the road dead-ended without my knowledge. I slammed on the brakes just in time to take out a sign with a bunch of reflectors on it (first technical "crash" on my list). Some old lady saw and came over to see if I was alright. I thought the whole thing was pretty righteous, but I tried to look somewhat shaken. We put the sign up and made some small talk, and then some lady in the parking lot yelled "hey!" and the lady suggested I take off, and I didn't argue. Good times. Diane, if your reading this, thanks for "not seeing anything," as you said (no, I didn't pay her off).

Black Friday was pretty dark. I got up at 4:20, went with my mother to Circuit City, waited in line for 1.5 hours to get a camera (hooray, now my blog can have some visual media), Tom Petty's Greatest Hits, and Office Space. Bummer. I napped then worked again, then hung out with some St. Pats people and learned some interesting things about people I thought I knew well. Saturday I went to some rich kid's house, lost at pool, then had the first Waffle House grease sandwich in about five months.

Today I laid low, packed, memorized a monologue for audition Monday, and then set off on a Megabus journey back to the 773. I had an interesting conversation with Rami and this kid who goes to Vanderbuilt School of Music about bassists throughout history, and then went on my first cab ride ever with two other dudes. Now I'm listening to the Offspring CD I got a week ago.

Oh yeah, I switch phone plans and broke down and got a Razor (I swear, it was the cheapest one available). No longer am I a virgin (mobile); I'm a T (mobile) man now.

Here's to you, old lady at Chesterfield apartments,
Barry

Party on, SOA

Tonight at 9:30, 10:30 Georgia time, I embark for the second time on a 17 hour odyssey to Columbus, Georgia and the School of America's Protest. This week/weekend is the anniversity of the murder of the four Jesuits and their housekeeper in El Salvador (I actually walked the trail the killers took when I visited San Salvador). Many of the murderers were SOA graduates, as was the killer of Oscar Romero and those that massacred the town of El Mozote. Peace in Latin America is something I feel especially connected with since I went down to Guatamala two summers ago.

That aside, the protest is actually a pretty good time. I am hopefully going to meet up with old friends and make some new ones, lots of free love, hoorah. Actually, the hippie ratio at the protest is pretty good, lots of chicks with dreadlocks (ewwww....you get used to it after awhile). I really enjoyed it last year, so we'll see how it goes again. I hope the bus ride isn't too awkward because I don't anyone well that's going down with Loyola. During the trip I hope to knock out a Virtuous Eating term paper, so I got that to look forward to.

Today I also was able to register for classes (ha, all you other freshman can eat your heart out). Right now I'm taking two more theater classes (to be a major is ridiculous, it's like 48 credit hours, one of the most here), another philosophy for that major, a theology because my Virtuous Eating prof is teaching it (it's titled "Jesus Christ," which I'm sure will be pretty good fodder for jokes), and another anthropology cause I wanna minor in that. I decided I'd sign up orchestra, too, though I don't know if I'll stick with it....17 credit hours again. I'm a little pissed because even I wasn't able to get into a langauge 101...I wanted to take Spanish, or Italian, or Chinese, or Arabic, or something. But I got nothing. Story of my life...no, that would be "Play it Off...Cool."

And yes, my Twisted Sister review got top bill in Diversions. Two pats on the back for that.

Georgia (all the time) and Georgia (on my mind),
Barry

PS--in case anybody cares, you can visit www.soaw.org for more SOA info, and perhaps a pic of me if I get really lucky. Now I gotta pack.

Georgia on my mind

I gotta make this quick, cause I think I'm goin to my first college basketball game soon (r a m b l e r s, that spells ramblers. hoorah.).

I finally got done practicumming (ha, I said cumming) on Sunday, on which day I had to wake up at 5:10 because the certain people at work forgot I requested off and scheduled me to open. I was pretty pissed, and I think if they ever have me open again, I might quit right then and there. Mark my words. And then, after working 5.5 hours, I had to run some costumes and then strike, which actually didn't take all that long for Barry, but it still sucked. Overall practicum wasn't too terrible because I got to get to know some others in the department. What can I say, I build bridges. It's what I do.

And now I'm preparing myself for my Georgia SOA protest trip on Thursday (thus the title thusly). It's gonna be good time. Major hippie fest, free love and maybe free illicit substances, who knows. I'll know at least one girl from John Carrol, and a few others that are going from here....17 hours on a bus, hopefully it won't get crazy. And I'll be in a room with around 7 other dudes. Yeah for protests. Boo for Wal-Mart (yeah, I said it. Watcha gonna do? Hire Asians for miserable wages to keep your prices down? Oh wait, you already do that).

Two days later, I leave for the big Toledo. Ohio. Thanksgiving funtimes.

Also, I'm very excited. The Phoenix comes out tomorrow, and hopefully in the front section of diversions will be my masterpiece so far, my review of Twisted Sister's newest album, "A Twisted Christmas." I might repost here in it's entirety if I feel like it. And yes, I got to keep the CD for free. If I'm in a good mood I might let you listen to it.

Wrecking the halls this season,
Barry

Broken Glass Under Nino's Feet

So, today in the mail I got "The Sunny Side of the Moon: The best of Richard Cheese." It's a bunch of lounge versions of songs such as Rape Me, Closer, Gin and Juice, Creep, Baby Got Back, and other hard rock/rap/other stuff. Not gonna lie, this guy is pretty much my hero. If I could ever scrounge up a jazz combo, I would definitely do the same thing, only we would be better. You just watch.

So for the past week and for the next two I'm costuming running for the production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" here, which kinda sucks. It's not really hard, it just takes up huge blocks of my time. We also have a pretty motley crew, if I do not say so myself. There's me, the semi-racist bigot from rural Michigan, a lesbian, a girl from Kentucky, a girl from Africa, another guy who seems too have a little a clue as I do, our fearless leader, Jeff, and three assorted freshman girls who add something but I'm not sure exactly what. It makes for some interesting times, quite a few of them at my expense it seems. Whatevs, at least I'm meeting people in the department, and it's a decently good time, except for when tonight I had to do laundry until 12:30. Such is life. There is free candy involved. And the girl from Kentucky is cute. I can deal.

Waitress, can I get the..
check, mic check, 1...2...
--Barry

Boo

Holla for Halloween.

Not really. I never really like Halloween. Surprising as it is, I am in theater and I don't like getting into costumes. Maybe because I can never really think of anything really original, so I don't even try. I just told people I was a douchebag, which is true the other 364 days of the year, too. I mean, yeah, it's cool that all girls are slutty for that one night, but mostly I just feel awkward.

Saturday mid-afternoon I got suckered into going shopping with these three girls, which was a bad choice, and I'm not gonna make that mistake. Talk about awkward.

I have this problem. Everyone thinks I'm gay. I mean, I am in theater, I don't really do sports, I do put some emphasis on appearance, and one of my good friends that goes here is gay. However, I don't fit quite one criterion; I'm not into guys. I noticed this little curse of mine ever since the beginning of this year, and it has just exploded here. Words cannot describe how much this bugs me. People get all offended at the word "nigger" or when I point out some one is Jewish (go figure), but they somehow think they aren't stereotyping when they automatically think some dude likes the cock. What's even worse is when people think they know me better than myself and tell me I'm just not out yet. I just wanna smack a ho when someone tells me that.

Which brings me back. So I went shopping with these girls, and one was dead convinced I was gay (but she was ugly, and not really worth my time, so I can deal with that). After that weird shopping trip, I came back to the room, drank a cold one with my next-door neighbor, who is probably one of the biggest hedonists I've ever met, and then I went to this Halloween party.

What's even goofier is that the girls I went with shopping wouldn't even really talk to me while at the party, and the one chick I was friends with in the first place (as in, I wouldn't even know the others if it wasn't for her) made out with about eight different guys, and I didn't even talk to her. Whatevs, I still pretty pissed at the world. But, on a brighter note, I did dance with a black chick, so I give myself a pat on the back for that (she wasn't even drunk).

I got back to the room, and I've started to be bothered by something else. I feel unaccomplished, even though I'm only 18. What bugs me is that I say I want to screenwrite or direct, and I really have nothing to show for it. Cobain and Tarantino, two little heros of mine, at least had something by my age, but I don't, except for thirty pages of an unfinished script. Everyone around me's perogitive is to get laid. I want to change the world. It's harder than it looks.

This blog is probably the most depressing one I've wrote, but I guess I need to place to vent, cause no one likes to hear whining.

I Order All My Sandwiches With Mayonnaise

So I just got my copy of Weird Al Yankovic's "Straight Outta Lynwood" today. Not gonna lie, it's pretty awesome. I encourage everyone to give it a look.

Top picks:
"White and Nerdy", parody of "Ridin' Dirty" by Charmillionaire
"Confessions Part III" parody of Parts I and II by Usher
"Don't Download this Song" Style parody of those 80's collaboration for charity

Plus, the polka medley makes me laugh everytime I hear it.

Hooray,
Barry

What I Got You Gotta Give it To Your Mamma

For some reason at work, they think I enjoy working the weekend straight. No joke, the current schedule patterns suggest I work from Friday till Monday I work these long hours, which leaves me little time to get...it...on. It sucks, but I kinda sorta requested off the whole month of November, and I don't know how long I'll stay on past winter break (hopefully not at all).

Anyway, what made tonight a biotch is that I guess some guy got fired and his buddy in retaliation quit. The buddy was supposed to close. I was only supposed to work till ten. I ended up closing. Surprisingly, though, I didn't take a long time, I was only there 15 minutes after. I'm patting myself on the back right now.

On the train ride home, after being offered some weed-filled cigerettes by some brothas, I ran into a girl from Loyola I randomly met a long time ago. She was trying to get one of the stop maps things that tell you where you are going things, I guess. I, having jacked a red line one the night before, helped her get one then I snatched a purple line for myself.

I kinda figured there wouldn't be a whole lot going tonight, considering everything here stops at approx. 11:30. I went up to ma dorm room and here I am. And I have to wake up at 8:45 to freakin go to work. And I just realized I forgot to punch out....whatevs, I got brownie points now for closing when I didn't have to.

Earlier today I wanted to read the current play I am in, and I figured the el would be as good place as my room, so I just took on the train and rode it and read, and somehow I ended up in Chinatown. I decided I'd stop and check things out, having never been in any sort of Chinatown in my life.

It was kinda nice being taller than everybody [rimshot]

Anyway, I think I'll visit again, maybe later tonight, being that it is sunday.

I'll reward you listening to my mundane life by ending it gently.

Boom.
Barry

This comic always bring me joy.

Today was most likely the most extreme Monday of my life. It all started in the wee hours of the morning, when my Anthro teacher e-mailed our midterm, and it was insane. And since he e-mailed it to us, we had as much as time as we needed! Yeah! No, not really. First, I woke up and went to Virtuous Eating. Nothing too exciting. Just eating disorders. Then I studied philosophy, studying which was supplanted by working on the Anthro midterm the night before. Then I went to Philosophy and took the midterm, which actually wasn't too bad. I got done in like 30 minutes, or a half-hour. Then I rushed back, got changed for work, and then went to the Phoenix office to see someone about "improvements" on my CD review (The Kooks, Inside In/Inside Out, worth a look). After about ten minutes of hearing corrections, I said I world ruminate this over at work, which I dashed off to next. Except I was mostly waiting for the el, which wasn't very dashilly. Work was work. At least I got paid and was able to snag a lunch pizza for myself. And I got to try the chicken mole. Not bad. Anyway, I got off around 10:25, worked at my article until midnight, then I wrote the rest of my midterm till 2:16 in the morning. I am sick of writing---why am I writing this? Because it is a story that needs to be told. This might be the most Insanity-filled Monday of my entire life. Luckily it's over now.

Thank God for Tuesday,
Whew. Barry

I Got Way Too Inebriated Last Night

So it snowed Thursday. What the f?

--Barry

As Always, Fighting Injustice in All Forms All Over the Country

Although I should be working on at least one of the two papers due tomorrow, I'm checking some of my not-very-oftenly checked e-mail.

My parents are totally inept. This was made crystal clear to me over the weekend. I guess the internet has not been working since I had left in August, yet they still pay for it. Somehow they thought I would be able to fix it. I guess they're the type of people who just deal with a situation instead of actually calling anybody and fixing it. Gah, it's so freakin annoying.

Anyway, so today I was checking the e-mail I share with my dad (it's bceitel_1999@yahoo.com, to give you an idea of how old it is). He never really checks it, so it's always flooded when I look at it. Some of the random spam is pretty amusing. One sender was apparently the city of Bulgaria, and the subject lines are always sneaky. It's almost disappointing, there aren't any flashing colors or other HTML fun. Spammers these days are getting really lazy.

There was also an e-mail from one a group that has been near and dear to my heart since I've had to research Lobby Groups in AP US Gov: Legalize Ferrets. It's quite a pressing political issue. Apparently, in California it is illegal to own a ferret. And Gov. "girly man" (as called by a ferret advocate) Schwzanagger (sorry, gov'na) recently vetoed a bill legalizing the fuzzy critters. The greatest is that the group has little rallies at hotels and stuff, where I'm sure about four people attend. Maybe one day I'll come out to one.

I decided to snope around the site because I was bored. I visited the kickin' online store, and there I saw it. I spurgled and spent two dollars on a "Legalize Ferrets" button. Unfortunately, I do not know where to put it. Whatev.

I encourage all of you to go to www.legalizeferrets.org and buy some stuff. They got bumper stickers and a t-shirt and---well, that's about it. Plus, all your friends will be like "Legalize Ferrets? How goofy is that?" Then you will be well-liked. At least that is what I am hoping for.

THIS ISN'T A BLOG! IT'S A CALL TO ACTION!
--Barry

Do it! I'm serious. www.legalizeferrets.org I'll gut you.

Heeeeeeeeeere's Barry

Yes, I am quite aware that my titles suck and are decently unoriginal.

This was a pretty intense weekend. I went home for like 3 and a quarter days because of said "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles" incident. But now I am back safe and sound in Chi-town.

It is all fallish in the Northwest Ohio/Southeast Michigan region. It's nice and chilly and the leaves are all a-changin. It's interesting that I could finally see the stars at night. I got pretty nostalgic about high school, so I ended up going with the pretense that I was "getting my yearbook," which I did get. I am all over that mother. Not only am I on the cover, the pages are flooded with my beautiful face. At least now I tell my grandkids, "Believe it or not, your Pappy Barry was a pretty popular kid in high school." And they most likely will not believe it, so I'll whip out my yearbook and show them how wrong they are (little will they know the most likely reason I was in so much was just because I was in with the yearbook staff, muwhahahaha).

The whole weekend I was able to catch up on my college friends. I went down to BG and saw that it's pretty boring in the Arts Village (read: "Gay Village") where my two of my best buds are. Pretty glad I'm in Chicago. And I went over to my other friend who goes to Dayton (which is also on break, unlike every other school in the nation besides mine and BGSU) and smoked a cigar and told college stories.

Somehow I didn't drink at all during this period....

And I went on a huge shopping spree where I bought my whole winter wardrobe. The good thing about going to school far away is that when I go home my parents are basically like "Please talk to us occasionally, here's some money." I'm so evil.

Now my room is a lot more decked out then it was before. I got some bamboo and some more stuff to go on the "Random Crap" section of my wall. It's shaping up pretty well. Maybe someday I'll take pictures.

In the end, I kinda missed home. It's not so bad of a place, besides the fact that there really isn't a whole lot of oppurtunity of any sort. Whatevs, it's a good home base place. When I'm filthy rich, I'll probably own one or two houses out there. Good times.

Hmmm, got 2 work on my Class Cookbook assignment for Virtuous Eating, HA!,
Barry

I wanna throw something

I am writing this from the downtown campus of Loyola at approx. 3:00 Toledo time. By this time I was supposed to be back home, showered, and maybe eating food that I didn't have to pay for. But, alas, that would be too easy.

Lemme tell you about the Megabus. It sucks. I was rudely awokened this morning at 7:50 by Mark calling me and telling me I had to be down at the el and ready to go in 7 minutes. I set my alarm for 7:20, but for some reason or another, fate prevented me from getting up. So I rushed around, got dressed, threw my laptop somewhere, and ran off for the el. We got on at about 8:10, and got off in the loop at about 8:45, then had a frantic run towards Union Station.

We were scheduled to take the Megabus, this large coachbus thing that travels all around the scenic Midwest, at 9:10 from Chicago to Toledo. We got there at 9, and didn't see any buses for Toledo, just Cleveland and Detroit. We wait until 9:15 before calling customer service about where our bus was, and they told us it would arrive in 10 minutes. Cool cool. Twenty minutes later, we call again. "You mean you didn't take the Cleveland bus?" Jokes on us. So we had to wait around 7 hours till the 3:30 bus, and that means I won't get home until 8 PM.

Words cannot describe how pissed off I was. The Megabus people can be expecting an irate letter describing how some guy missed his uncle's funeral and demanding a full refund because it says ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE on the ticket, or print-out, or anywhere on the website, that you have to take the Cleveland bus to get to Toledo.

Besides wanting to be home, though, I guess it wasn't all that bad. We went to see Navy Pier, and let me tell all you budding Chicago tourists out there, it's not much. There is some water, and some crappy touristy restaurants, and a ferris wheel. I have no clue why Navy Pier is so "on the map." Next time you come to Chicago with your maps and floppy hats and sunglasses on a string, take my advice and skip Navy Pier.

Sometime when I am in a less rambling mood I'll tell you about how last night I went to such a fancy restaurant I was charged $25 for water. Later, folks, later.

Muthaf*cking Megabus,
Barry

Calm like a bomb

Since probably my only reader has his panties in a bunch that I share more of my "crazy" and "exciting" life, I decided I would do a little catch-up.

I got a job. It kinda sucks. I make sandwiches at this Panara-like place called Cosi, not to be confused with Cosi....they work me long and hard, for example I worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. That blew hard. I'm not really used to the restaurant biz either, yet, and so it's pretty stressful. There were times we were so busy over the weekend I thought I was going to puke (mmmm, appetizing). But I got through it, I'm just gonna have to tell them I need to work less hours, because I'm a crazy college kid.

This weekend was semi-uneventful, I went to a party Saturday night that was out on this multi-level porch thing. Me and a buddy kept going back, getting stuff or eating, and coming back. Not gonna lie, it was a little shady. There was a guy in the backyard in a black hoodie selling beer and other more illecit substances. And then the cops came while weren't there, we came back, there was a big fight (Yea!), the cops came back, Barry left. And in our group was probably the drunkest girl I have seen here. When I was walking her back (what a gentleman I am), she was like doubling over and running into stuff. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. Then we got donuts.

Hey, random discourse. In Toledo there is roughly one Dunkin Donuts. In Chicago, they're on every friggin street corner. I don't even understand why. It's not really that good.

Anyway, I've been pretty busy between work and writing my preview for the Chicago International Film Festival, which was printed Wednesday, albeit less charming and witty than my original, along with shorter. But, alas, today I got my media pass (it has my picture and everything, pretty professional), so I guess it was worth it. I don't know if anybody really wants me to actually review stuff, so I'm just going to go see free movies about gay cops and life in Iceland. Wa. Hoo.

Drama-wise, my work is pushing along. We have these things called "Director [something]" which allows student directors to direct a scene. I didn't try out, since I had to go see "Hedda Gabler" for a class the same night. Not gonna lie, it wasn't too bad. But then a girl I was in "Son at the Front" with facebooked me and asked if I wanted to be in her scene, some Arthur Miller thing. I said, why not? So I got that going for me, but I don't know what I am going to do seriously next.......and all the while I'm trying to finish the rough draft for my screenplay (ask me about it sometime).


AND HOORAH! I go home Saturday till Tuesday, and I get par-tay with some people in BG and see some other people and stuff. Huzzah.

Rockin the suburbs,
Barry