Thursday, January 25, 2007

Barry's Guide to Proper Facebook Etiquette

After doing some pretty heavy Facebooking, I've realized that people bug me. All of them. Well, maybe minus a few. I think I feel some grievances about to air....

*Alright, it's all cool to put up pictures of you and your friends on facebook. Good. I like to see people. But I draw the line when I see people who put albums containing approximately 60 billion photos that all depict a group of college kids getting sloshed. C'mon, people, be a little more selective with your pictures. If you wouldn't develop all of these pictures, don't put them up. Just because it's possible to vomit up all your photographic trash on Facebook doesn't mean you should. And to those kids who are tagged in 7000 pictures....I wish I was you. There just is not enough pictorial evidence to document my life. I digress; that's a story for another day.

*The other day I came across a group griping about the limits of the relationship status. What a bunch of losers. They were all like, "If you can input what religion you are, why can't you make up a relationship status," and I was all like "Why don't you download some more kiddie porn, douchebag?" But yelling at my computer doesn't have much affect. If you take Facebook that seriously, well, you might have less of a life than your's truly. Although it would be kinda cool to have my status be "Playa Fo Real."

*Notes. If you make them depressing, I'm going to make some snide comment making fun of your crappy life. Facebook is no place for making anybody feel bad about anything. It's a place of fun and carefreeitude. Go complain on your blog that nobody reads (case in point. At least I follow my own rules).

*If you have the nerve to invite to a group, it better have a pretty freakin hilarious title. Otherwise you're not worth my time, I'm not gonna join your group, you pissed me off, and you're gay. What's the point of any Facebook group if reading the title doesn't inspire chortling from viewers of your profile? Eh? And any group with words like "official petition" can suck it. For one, it's not official, for two, it's not a petition. Shut up.

*To all those dudes who operate under the "I don't friend request people, people friend request me"--I wish I was as popular as you.

There it is.

From me to you,
--The Illustrious Barry

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