Updates, etc.

Yeah, so I haven't posted in awhile. I'm sorry. Anyway, not much has happened.

I went to Cedar Point on Monday, the new Maverick is frickin amazing. I didn't really know what was so cool, but a lot of people were standing in line, and when hasn't a random mob been right? Anyway, I soon found out it ("soon" is relative, I waited 2 hours in line) it drops you at a 95 degree angle. It's pretty neato. They ask everyone to take out their earrings before entering, and that kind of confused me.

Other than that, I haven't been doing much. I'm working a little at President Tuxedo again, but I'm bored to tears there. Whatever. Life goes on.

Still alive,
Barry

Harry Potter, etc.

It's been a tiresome few days.

Thursday I had to wake up at 4:30 AM to drive up to Westland for this job thing. I was kind of in the dark as to what I'd actually be doing (but when am I not?). We drove an hour to get up there, and then were informed that we were needed at another store and followed a manager to the new store. This guy had bad directions and we ended up getting lost for two hours (which equals twenty dollars for sitting in a car). We finally got there at around 8, and then we had to wait and eat breakfast (wouldn't want to make anyone look bad). Basically, our "job" was to switch old Farmer Jacks into the Krogers they were blossoming in to. Our morning wen like this: kinda walked around for awhile, took some breaks, tried to find the dairy cooler, took a break, stopped for lunch. This is perhaps the best job I've ever had. We finally did some work after lunch when the truck came in. We stocked some dried fruit, which consisted mostly of us attacking each other with the price-tag gun. It was heaven. And I'm getting paid for two hours of driving when I didn't even drive! Ha. Take that, system.

Then today I got my hair dyed finally. I've been planning this for like two years, but never really had a chance between jobs and shows. My friend is studying to be a hairdresser, so I was able to have her do it, and it's pretty fly. I'm pretty blonde now, and I don't even look that flaming. It took like three hours, but I like going to that place. All the girls are pretty hot (they stand around and do their hair and makeup all day, so it makes sense) and they seem to get kind of excited when younger guys come in. I'll prolly go back soon.

Finally, tonight I accompanied my bud Drew to the release of the seventh Harry Potter. I don't read the Harry Potter books. It isn't my illiteracy--I have this aversion to stuff that is so immensely mainstreamly popular. I did have the first book read to me in seventh grade, but that's as far as I got. I'm sure they are pretty good books, but for me to catch up, I'd have to read a lot of pages. And I'm too busy thinking about...tacos.

The release wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be. Some people were dressed up, but not a whole lot. I have glasses, so I think I kinda fit in. And my friend seemed to be pretty "in" with the nerd circuit. He knew a lot of people. I felt a little out of place, but whatevs. I wanted to try the whole waiting thing, and this was my last chance. I did get some free Red Bull, so I think I came out on top.

That's what she said,
Barry

P.S. Apparently, some book website accidently sent out a 1000 copies of the book before the release date, and the NY Times got their hands on one and reviewed it. See it here

Trip out East

I just returned from my grandparent's house in Little Falls, New Jersey. It's greasy.

I did get to go out to New Jack City, so enjoy these photos a bunch. Can't talk much, I have to get up at 4:30 for a job. Sucky, I know.

The Ripley's Odditorium. An old vampire killing kit. Fun stuff.

Times Square and my cousins looking confused.

And of course the Simpsons-themed 7/11

Yeah, the trip was kinda short, but I did make it out to the Jersey Shore as well. It was a pretty good time. Honest.

--Barry

How I Saw Bob Dylan Up Close for $30 or Why Barry is the Slickest

Tonight was a big night. Bob Dylan came to the Toledo zoo. This is a big deal, because usually the only musicians who come around are Clay Aiken and/or the remaining members of Iron Maiden.

So, naturally, my mom buys tickets for my little sister and her little friend, neither of whom have actually heard a Bob Dylan song. Now me, I'm a different story. I know, like, two. C'mon.

Anywho, my mom was just going to sit at the park outside and listen, and I was like, I'll go to. The Barry loves to free load. So the opening act begins and my mother and me are sitting across the street just chillaxing. Apparently, the opening act was Stevie Ray Vaughn's older and not-as-successful brother Jimmy Vaughn. I wasn't really into them, they were a bit too bluesily generic.

As we sit, a 50-something old woman (who was actually kinda cute for a 50-year-old) is standing in front of the entrance waving around tickets. And I felt the need to haggle so I saddled over to her and asked what we were looking at. She had a $90+ ticket that she was going to give to her friend who had come down with pneumonia, and now she had to get rid of it. I offered what was in my wallet--$30. After some well-planned nudging, she relented and sold me the ticket. The seats were amazing. We were up in the chair area (ohhhh), about 15 yards from the stage. She even bought me a water (I just don't know what to do with all my charm). This had to be one of the coolest shows I've been to, mostly because of the ticket story.

Not to say the concert wasn't crazy cool. Although Bobby D does tour a lot, this felt like a rare oppurtunity to see probably the greatest living songwriter. He comes out in a double breasted suit with this fuschia tie on and a giant gray fedora, and immediately starts playing. Apparently that's his thing--he doesn't talk. I actually heard that he was notorious for playing like three songs, getting pissed, and then leaving, but people there who had seen him 50 times assured me they never heard about that. I kinda wanted a reason to riot, but oh well.

Say what you will about his voice, Dylan has a great musical touch. And live it's even better because he pretty much redoes the songs with different melodies. And his live band is pretty kickin too, the whole thing was pretty energized. He has a much more smooth jazzy sound then on his recordings, and I actually liked to hear him live more than on the radio.

While we driving down to Bonnaroo, we had a long discussion about Dylan and the nature of art in general. My companions Dave and Evan had major problems with him, mostly that they thought he sucked at singing. Dave also said that he probably chose being a singer over merely a poet for monetary reasons, which I thought was a crock of bull. Not only does he write inciteful lyrics, Dylan writes the memorable music as well, obviously he has a lot of songwriting ability. In the end, I actually like Bob Dylan. His voice is hard to understand and somewhat abrasive, but it mixes well with the music. There is so a very tangible amount of raw emotion in his voice, too. His solos are also inciteful. He plays guitar almost like he is giving an impromptu speech. There is an element that he might not know exactly where he is going, but he always comes to a conclusive point.

Basically, if you have the chance, go see him. Especially if you can get VIP seats for $30. Hahahaha.

Tomorrow morning I head off for New Jersey. YEAH! (no) Hopefully I'll get to go to the NYC, so we shall see.

Like a rolling stone,
Barry

Are you a dreamer?

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I don't know who I'm posting too, because the secret government survellience of my blog reveals that no one has been in on it in about nine days. So shame on you. I hope you feel bad. Don't kill yourself just yet--I'm in a forgiving mood.

A few nights ago I went out and rented a copy of Waking Life, a film directed by Richard Linklater. It quickly skyrocketed into the elite handful of movies that can be called "Barry's Total Favs." It's basically about a dude walking around in a lucid dream, which is a dream where you are in control. They are pretty sweet. You can like fly, punch people, and have super cool sex with like 8 hot chicks, or seven hot chicks and a dude, whatever your into. Anyway, there isn't crazy sex in this movie. It is totally rotoscoped, as in the filmmakers shot the whole movie digitally and then went in and drew over everything, which makes everything totally trippy. And there really isn't much of a plot, just this dude talking to a whole bunch of different people. And they say the most mind-blowing things. There are very few works of art that succeed in helping me get to a higher plane of existence, and this is definitely one of them.


The other movie, which I just saw last night, was Disney Pixar's Ratatouille. Not gonna lie, when I went to see Pick of Destiny, they had a preview this, and I almost peed. I love Pixar movies, and I love food. And I would say this lived up to expectations. Afterwards, I had much more love for rats (like Steve Buschemi, hahaha). This is probably one of the best movies ever made about food, another being Waitress with Ashley Judd, which I saw a while back and would recommend to anyone. It's sort of long for a kid's movie, but the beautiful views of computer-animated Paris are amazing. Plus, it made me laugh a lot for a PG movie. I would give it 4.5 Barrys. And there was a preview for the Pixar movie coming out next summer, about some sort of robot or something. Needless to say, I wish I had some sort of time/space transporter so I could see it right now. Yup.








Anyway, there's life for you.
Unplugged,
The Barry.

88 Degrees and Rising

Last night was really warm. I woke up and was all sweaty, and I felt bad for myself.

This weekend was pretty cool. Probably the best party I have been to all summer. Erik and myself drove his convertible into the Port Clinton sunset, which was decently moody. We got there late, everyone was already drunk. We caught up pretty well, and I was able to get ahold of some decent beer. And then these random Perrysburg high school kids came, and produced the biggest bag of...enlightenment...I had ever seen in my life. Of course I didn't tell them that; I was all like, I'm in college, I've seen quite a bit. And me being one of like two kids in our group of friends, I was able to get really enlightened. Which was really nice, since I hadn't since with our shady neighbors at Bonnaroo. And I think one friend of mine might have had a tent threesome with two of our female friends. I wasn't even jealous. Okay, maybe a little. Alright, a lot.

I got back, and then went swimming at Maumee Bay with the fam. Hooray for Lake Erie!

Other than that, I've just been chilling, flexing my alter-ego as a DJ. Speaking of which, check the post below for my two most recent mash-ups. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

And, according to my Google Analytics, nobody has visited my blog for like a week. You guys suck. Just kidding, please come back some more. I've got candy!

Desperate in Bedford,
Barry

SONG OF THE WEEK
THE ROAD I MUST TRAVEL
by THE NIGHTWATCHMAN
This is Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine all acousticish and angry. He has this really cool baritone thing going, and his lyrics are pretty haunting. Go out and download.

New Mashups for Everyone

So, the day after I stayed up all night, everything went pretty well. Then I took a nap at 5, and didn't wake up until 7:30 AM the next morning. And in my voicemail was a friend saying that she was going to see Ratatouille that night. I was pissed.

Either way, I channeled all this energy in creating a new mashup for Barry and the On Occasions. Hope you enjoy it. One or two more, and I can create a MySpace. That'll be kinda cool.


Barry and the On Occasions Present: Battle Drop
Flaming Lips "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt 2" vs. Snoop Dogg "Drop it Like it's Hot"



And here is a link to another one, based basically on After the Fire's "Der Kommisar," with a little Jacko, Daft Punk, and Tag Team thrown in for good measure.

Barry and the On Occasions Present: Just Turn Around

Knee High By Today

The fourth of July. Huh, good times. Actually, this post will be made on July 5th, but who cares anyway? I just was awake the whole night. First we went to my mom's work in East Toledo, where we were able to sit on top of the roof to watch the fireworks, which was actually pretty cool.

Then I went over to my good friend Dan's house until like 3:45 AM, where I learned more about a lucrative offer where I stock shelves at Detroit soon-to-be Krogers for $10 an hour. The catch? I have to be there at 6 AM. But I'm feeling pretty good about it.

After that, I came home, watched Swingers, and then walked around my yard like a crazy person at 5:30 AM setting off small fireworks with a cigar. A pretty interesting 4th, I must say.

I think this is the correct time and place for a hokey patriotic thing. The local Hippie-mart, the "Happy Badger," sent me, a concerned citizen on their mailing list, this today. Enjoy:

Fourth of July. “Freedom.” We see it shouted in the movies from the last breath of a dying Scottsman. “Freedom.” We feel it in our garden early each morning. “Freedom.” We see it in the eyes of a happy baby. “Freedom.”We enjoy it and battle for it every day.
“Freedom.”Feel it. Enjoy it. Fight for it. Nothing makes us feel more proud; our chests expand. “Freedom.” Nothing makes us feel more alive; craving it's passion. “Freedom.” It's a prayer that everyone can speak, and knows some Great Spirit is listening.
“Freedom.” Is there any concept more definable, more universal and more prompting of comradeship? This fourth of July, remember, honorably, the constitution signing of 1776, but rejoice and feel the fiery passion of “Freedom,”which fueled their fight. The battle for and joy of “Freedom” is waged and felt every moment in an infinite number of shapes,scenarios and stages, large, small, and even invisible.
Remember your strength comes from within, knowing “Freedom” is always yours, alive,whether born in a battle, working a garden or sharing a child's curiosity. Use it as a shield of thought against the multitude of invaders, human, man made or contrived, in every moment of life. You're always a winner when you fight for "Freedom," win your battle or not.
Rally tonight, the fourth of July for “Freedom.” Enjoy. Energize. Enlighten. Celebrate. Shout“FREEDOM! from within and to the world!” "Freedom!"

Pretty Cool, Huh?

Barry.

Collision

What a week so far.

I had my first ever car crash Monday. I had woken up real early (in honesty prolly like 9:45) to take my little sister to summer band. At the intersection of Temperance and Secor, some old lady ran the red light and like sheared off the front of my little '92 Honda Accord. Don't worry friends, her Rendezvous was not harmed.

Special twist. Apparently, my parents had canceled the collision insurance on the car, so we get no money to fix it, except for the automatic $500 (I have no clue how this works, this is just what I'm told) the lady's insurance will pay because it was her fault. Oh, yeah, no one was hurt.

However, even though my car is drivable, it's pretty much totaled. The front lights and bumper would have to be totally replaced, which would cost a lot.

Now, I am really considering getting rid of my car altogether, taking the $500 plus the $70 or so I'll get for scraping it, and riding my bike places. Really, I only need my car for 2 months anyway. I think it would be a cool little experiment.

However, I think my parents are kind of set on fixing the car. I guess I'll see how much that will cost. We shall see.

On another note, last night I took a nap at 7 AM, and woke up at nine this morning. What gives?

Stuff is happening,
Barry

P.S. Have a fun, yet safe, 4th of July. Huzzah!

Sicko and Stuff

Tonight I went and saw Michael Moore's newest debate-sparking documentary, "Sicko." It's about the American health care system, and how badly screwed up it is. He compares us to a bunch of countries with universal health care, like Canada, Britain, France, and even, yes, even, el Cuba. I liked it better than any of his previous docs; it's a lot more like "here's a problem that effects everybody" than "hey, we have a douchebag for a president." It's basically easier to follow, but I feel some of the details are a little askew. I guess I'll have to do some research checking. Unfortunately, I am apathetic. Life goes on.

Sicko did provide the premise for an in-depth Taco Bell analysis of my fiscal situation with my colleague Drew (he's the guy with the bus behind him in the pictures below).

There are times that I realize that me not having a steady job during this summer could possibly have far-flung effects in my future. At least it would give me a head start. Right now, I'm facing around $1000 a month of student loans when I get out of undergraduate. That's a lot of blowjobs. And I probably won't be able to afford health insurance, so let's hope I don't chop any fingers off. How would I be able to acheive my dream of being a hand model then? However, my plan is just kinda to kick it this summer, than wait until I'm back in Chicago to get a real, real job.

Not gonna lie, since I've been unemployed, I've become really, well, you know (let's just say I should buy a prayer shawl and eat more pastrami. jk jk anti-semitism isn't cool with this guy...I can't afford a yarmulke, but now that I think of it, I might be able to snag some cash if I had a bar mitzvah...). Point is, I'm quite the stingy old guy. For example, I haven't paid for gas in like a month. I just drive around until I'm pretty much out of gas, then not drive for awhile. Eventually, my dad will notice that my car has no gas, and go fill up. I've also become one of those people who order water at McDonald's and get pop instead. And I always do my hardest to subtle (well, sometimes not so subtley) hint that my friends should treat me. Hey, judge if you will, it pays to be tight-fisted. I find at least I have suffiencient funs to have a good time over this summer. It works.

Oh yeah, who would not scream if they walked into a room to find Michael Moore putting on a pair of latex gloves? I'd rather be in an elevator with a naked Borat.

L'Chiam!

Barry

SONG OF THE WEEK

MR. NOVEMBER

by THE NATIONAL

They played this at Bonnaroo, and everyone was all yelly when the chorus came, but I had no clue what was being said. Now I realize it revolves around the F word. Go out and download.

More Stuff.

So this week I have been pretty busy, and I'm kinda tired, so I'll go through the reader's digest version.

Wednesday-Thursday: Port Clinton cottage. Erik's birthday. Lots of alcohol. Lake Erie. Pontoon Boat. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Friday-Saturday: Grayling, MI with fam and Drew. Four hour drive. Four hour canoe down Au Sable River. Caught a really big crayfish and impressed a bunch of small children. Capsized kayak, but survived (blaming other guy).

BONNAROO PICTURAMA: Click the link, fool.

http://luc.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2068681&l=4bffa&id=20012412

I'll be more specific when I wanna,
Barry.